Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
