Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
