You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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