Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
