sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
