addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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