I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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