dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
