p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
