Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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