So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
