Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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