why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
