when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
