butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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