Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
