i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
