i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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