My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
