I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
