bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
