so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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