I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You left your phone here
Wait...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
