I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
