one two three fourrrrnication!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
3 2 1 whiskey
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
