I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
