I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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