I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
