I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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