I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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