I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
