I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
