It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
