That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
