I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
