Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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