haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
