Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
