What a fucking waste of an outfit
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
