you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
