dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
