Fuck appropriateness.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
