just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
