hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
