There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
