If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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