i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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