if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
