You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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