Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
