Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
